Hi Egos, how do arguments start? Well, that depends but in a lot of cases it starts with someone talking and not being ready for the answer. It's only natural that there are some things on your mind that you just need to talk about in order to understand them or get over them. But what if you don't like what the other one has to say about it?
Would it be better to not talk in the first place? I'm not sure. Things like career choices or matters of the heart are always tricky topics. You need to discuss them in order to make up your mind. So you need to hear different opinions. However not everyone is good with words. Although a lot of people mean well they can't express themselves properly without hurting the other one.
I had an experience like that just a while ago. I've been thinking about a guy and haven't really decided what to do about him (Ladies, haven't we all been there at some point?). So I was talking about him on an on. It got to a point where I was annoyed by myself. I've reached this line where I'm not sure if I like him for him or whether I'm just haning onto this picture of him and me. As you can see I'm clearly not in the right mind to discuss him objectively.
However I'm also in a very fragile state. Every comment could influence my decision and I don't want to do something just because someone else thinks that would be right for me. I really can't handle answers or opinions about this. So it might be wise not to talk about him at all. But I'm a girl. I have to talk about him!
If I want to talk about it then I need to know how to handle different opinions. For that I like to start talking to someone who is most likely to empathise with me. Once I feel like I've gotten enough encouragement I'm ready to talk to someone who will oppose me. Do I end up at the same spot I was in at the beginning? At first it would seem like it but I don't. I call this constructive criticism. The first person prepared me for the second person whose job it is to give me some objectivity.
So if I still like the guy after receiving the criticism I should really go for it. If I don't like him anymore then it's obvious my feelings aren't strong enough. Sounds like a good plan to me!
What do you think?
C U Egos!